Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i now understand why vodka
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
