Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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