'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
