I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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