What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
