Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
