I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
