When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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