I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
