I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
