My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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