too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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