this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
