jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
