Whod you bang
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
