I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
