Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
