I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
