I showed him my bush... on skype.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
