Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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