twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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