i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
