you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
well I can't set my house on fire every night
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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