She is in my trunk
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
