So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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