I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
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