I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Randomize
