Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
