speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize