Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize