dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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