Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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