i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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