she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
