I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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