And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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