Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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