My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think I died a long time ago.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
