i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
