we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
