I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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