new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
