How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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