I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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