Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
