actually, I'm a sock model
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
