I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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