doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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