she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
