woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
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Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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