I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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