I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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