kristin has been a bad kristin
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He better not be in your backpack
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Randomize
