Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
