I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
