Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
