I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
