She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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