Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
