I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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