saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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